Schadenfood » Recipes

20 unholy recipes

The Chef — Fri, 19 Feb 2010 04:58:05 +0000

One of the original ideas I had for this site was to go through the various cookbooks of terror (such as the infamous gallery of regrettable food) and make some of the recipes, with the intent of either modernizing them and perhaps even making them palatable, or simply gagging at them for others to see. I never followed through on this plan, but fortunately, someone else had the same idea and we can all enjoy the jello-encrusted fruits of their labor.

After about a year of perusing old-school cookbooks looking for weird recipes and spotting bizarre trends (hot dogs + eggs, inside a Jell-O mold) from the ’50s, food blogger Robin Wheeler compiled her twenty most stomach-turning concoctions. (Do not view this list before lunch. Jeez, or maybe after lunch either. Either way, consider yourself warned.)

We’ve presented those twenty worst below as a warning to enthusiastic cooks out there: Creativity isn’t always a good thing, and in relation to high-quality food porn photos, please consider these pictures the equivalent of a snuff film.

Porkza

The Chef — Sun, 13 Dec 2009 07:10:28 +0000

A pizza, whose crust is made from an entire pig. Snout and all.

Polishing a turd

The Chef — Tue, 07 Jul 2009 15:30:40 +0000

Fancy Fast Food: looks really can be deceiving.

Lycopene-rich dessert

The Chef — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 03:23:39 +0000

My fellow foodie friend Jenn just linked me to the soul-churning Great Canadian Heinz Ketchup Cake. Enjoy.

As a bonus, this recipe comes with four twists BEYOND the recipe itself. Good show, Heinz. Good show.

Lacey’s Favorite Recipe

The Chef — Sat, 16 May 2009 19:07:48 +0000

Lacey D’Angelo
Hometown: Charlotte, NC

FAVORITE RECIPE: Identity Crisis Cookies

INGREDIENTS:
1 sleeve saltine crackers
1 package of semi-sweet chocolate chips
1 stick salted butter
1 cup sugar
Walnuts

METHOD:
Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Lay saltines side-by-side, on greased cookie
sheet. On the stove, melt butter, dissolve sugar in butter and bring to boil. Pour
butter mixture over crackers. Bake in oven 7-10 minutes. Spread chocolate
chips on top of hot crackers, spread with spatula until they melt and the entire top
of crackers are covered. Sprinkle walnuts over top of chocolate, place in freezer.
Freeze for 2-4 hours or until hard. Break apart and enjoy!

Cocoa Cola Float

The Chef — Tue, 13 Jan 2009 07:01:29 +0000

Found on a packet of hot cocoa mix:

3 tablespoons (1 envelope) [brand] hot cocoa mix

1 cup hot milk

2 cups cola carbonated beverage, chilled

8 large scoops vanilla ice cream

Place cocoa mix in medium heat-proof cup. Stir in milk until cocoa mix is dissolved. Let cool slightly. Stir in cola. Place 2 scoops ice cream in each of 4 tall glasses; top with cola mixture.

An extra ingredient

The Chef — Sat, 02 Aug 2008 16:25:58 +0000

From someone going by the name of Slagathor:

2 pounds pitted black cherries
2 pounds blueberries
1 pound blackberries
2 packets of liquid pectin
1/4 cup fresh lemon juice
5 cups sugar
pinch of glass from 1 broken candy thermometer

mash fruit with clean potato masher

hard boil ingredients for 1 minute (220 degrees)

jar in sterilized jars and process in boiling water canner for 10 minutes depending on altitude

throw entire batch away after discovering broken thermometer

Apparently, this happened with $40 worth of hand-picked organic fruits.

Long Time Passing

The Chef — Sun, 20 Jul 2008 00:56:51 +0000

Over at poe-news.com, one of the most notorious posters, Gibbs, was recently banned for repeatedly breaking one of the rules. Sadly, that rule had nothing to do with his odd culinary senses, which one poster took it upon himself to make a tribute to.

Gibbs, you will be missed, but your legacy will live on forever.

Trashy Eats

The Chef — Thu, 28 Feb 2008 23:49:57 +0000

Seriously, this is just wrong.

Paula Deen, explained

The Chef — Tue, 23 Oct 2007 02:25:53 +0000

I think this recipe pretty much sums her up.