10.09.07

The Mysterious Voyage of Homer

Posted in Recipes at 1:24 pm by The Chef

From didcotmassif, a story of bravery, strength, and spiritual enlightenment:

Everyone has their version of the hottest thing I ate, here is mine….

“The Mysterious Voyage of Homer” the Simpsons episode where Homer enjoys the annual Springfield Chilli cook-off until he falls foul of Chief Wiggum’s “Guatemalan Insanity Chilli” and embarks on a hallucinogenic journey of self discovery inspired this recipe. I attempted to recreate this in our own kitchen achieving success that could never be called “mild”.

To make this hot enough we took the advice of a chap in a Jamaican grocers who offered us Scotch Bonnet Chillies otherwise known as Habenero (150,000–325,000 Scoville Units). The correct way to employ these little bastards is to put them whole into the dish while it cooks then remove it before eating - we foolishly chose to chop them and use them in the way you would a birds eye chilli.
To recreate the mysterious voyage/insanity aspect we chose to include 150 dried Liberty Caps (Psilocybe semilanceata) magic mushrooms of the welsh variety. We purchased these from a guy up the road called Glynn.

The ingredients:

• 1x Tsp Cumin Seeds
• Vegetable oil
• 2 Cans Tinned tomatoes
• 3 Onions chopped
• 3 Bell Peppers
• 5x Scotch Bonnet Chillies (chopped)
• 1 Can Chickpeas
• 500g minced beef
• 1 can kidney beans
• 1 can refried beans
• Fresh Coriander
• 6 cloves garlic
• Mushrooms, to taste

To Prepare:

1. Add oil & cumin seeds and heat until the seeds gently hiss
2. Add chopped garlic, onions, peppers & chilli and sweat down for a couple of minutes
3. Add mince and brown
4. Add tomatoes and pulses and cover simmering for half an hour
5. Add mushrooms continue to simmer for 15 minutes
6. Add fresh coriander and serve with rice.

In the TV show, Homer could only manage to eat the insanity chilli by coating the inside of his mouth with wax, that may have been a sensible precaution. In reality the burning of the mouth was a mere overture to the symphony of excruciating pain in our stomachs for the next 24 hours or so. The agony of our stomach acid in retreat was heightened by the psychedelic mushrooms and the empathy factor that they add to the mix, our pain was communal - we all felt it we all felt waves of euphoria and waves of cramps together on a cosmic level.

We felt the capsicum burn our mouths our throats, large and small intestines we felt it burn our extremities…it burnt our minds. Not only were we experiencing a large amount of pain, running eyes and noses , we were laughing our heads off and feeling euphoric rushes through our bodies. Never before have I felt the razor’s edge dividing pain and pleasure so acutely.

At the time I did not know that large doses of chilli alone could encourage psychotropic effects, the walls of the room began to bend and our vision was heavily distorted, unfortunately at this point I chose to have seconds. Homer was befriended by a talking dog who became his spirit guide, helping him to achieve an understanding that Marge was his soul mate. We were less fortunate than Homer but we still learned some minor but pertinent lessons:

1. Illegal class A drugs are not always as dangerous as over the counter bought vegetables
2. Farts can burn
3. There is such a thing as a chilli flashback

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